Monday, March 28, 2011

Fwd: are you happy



---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Pratima Gangwal <capratima@hotmail.com>
Date: Mon, Mar 28, 2011 at 1:13 PM
Subject: RE: are you happy
To: Alok Tholiya <atholiya@gmail.com>


Respected Bhaisaab,

THANKS ...........Jain siddahnt also says your Atma is full of happiness and everything else -- Per padarth ...  wh includes money, name , fame , relatives.......can never make u happy or unhappy. Happiness is within you...
.........  Thanks again for this wonderful presentation 







 CA PRATIMA GANGWAL 
 9764020111           
visit my blog

 

 



Date: Sun, 27 Mar 2011 19:05:16 +0530
Subject: are you happy
From: atholiya@gmail.com
To: tholiya@yahoo.com; menow@yahoogroups.com; jainmatrimonials@yahoogroups.com; resortstimeshare-india@yahoogroups.com; santacruzcivicforum@yahoogroups.com

See the attchment and send your experience after u adopt this attitude.

--
Thanks and Regards,
Alok Tholiya (S.E.O.)
(Real Estate, Insurance, Mutual Funds, Bonds,
Tholiya Marketing and Leasing Pvt. Ltd.
Marigold Party Hall,
Tholiya Bhavan,Next to Regency Hotel,
10th Rd., Santacruz East,
Mumbai 400055
tholiya@hotmail.com
M:9324225699



• Pl. fwd./ circulate this mail if you think the issues raised here needs wider audience.



• Let us make our city beautiful, disciplined and Loveable.
Let us handover to our future generation a better place to live in.



www.digambarjains.com
The matrimonial web site for Digambar Jains



• Also subscribe to my very popular yahoogroup:
Send blank mail to:
menow-subscribe@yahoogroups.com



--
Thanks and Regards,
Alok Tholiya (S.E.O.)
(Real Estate, Insurance, Mutual Funds, Bonds,
Tholiya Marketing and Leasing Pvt. Ltd.
Marigold Party Hall,
Tholiya Bhavan,Next to Regency Hotel,
10th Rd., Santacruz East,
Mumbai 400055
tholiya@hotmail.com
M:9324225699



• Pl. fwd./ circulate this mail if you think the issues raised here needs wider audience.



• Let us make our city beautiful, disciplined and Loveable.
Let us handover to our future generation a better place to live in.



www.digambarjains.com
The matrimonial web site for Digambar Jains



• Also subscribe to my very popular yahoogroup:
Send blank mail to:
menow-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Fwd: [Jain Utsav] lesson from germany Alok requests u to read



---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: suresh paharia <paharias@hotmail.com>
Date: Sun, Mar 20, 2011 at 9:01 PM
Subject: RE: [Jain Utsav] lesson from germany Alok requests u to read
To: atholiya@gmail.com


Alokji

The contents of letter forces us to think

Best regards
suresh paharia


Date: Sun, 20 Mar 2011 02:34:22 -0700
From: atholiya@gmail.com
To: paharias@hotmail.com
Subject: [Jain Utsav] lesson from germany Alok requests u to read


 
Alok adds: My god. Deepak bhai ur  mail deserves an award. We Indian (those with money+ego and which r easy to find) feel anything available to us is for over use / misuse / wasting/ showing off be it food, fuel,electricity,water or any other resources ( they unneccessarily burden a peon / junior because he is paid and is available).
 
In one marriage preparation meeting when the father of girl said I have arranged for 3 sweets and a Icecream then another friend Harish commented friend only 3 sweets ??? And I said 3 are more then enough. But those present liked suggestion of Harish and appreciated him as a very modern, matured and guest friendly and I was brushed aside. Similar suggestions for everything jacked up expenses of this friend from 25 lacs to 40 lacs and finally he sold one of the plot at near Pune to pay for marriahge expenses.
 
With my limited need ( my office and home is in same building) and budget I have been having only low end Maruti van for last 23 years( though changed every few year).
Most friends will suggest Alok, why not go for this make or that. I would promptly reply my budget is Rs. 2 .5 lacs. If rest u can foot then I dont mind changing. But most of the others buy,borrow steal to just keep their false pride.
 
One of my just married cousine's  in laws faught bitterly fight and demanded for more dowery only because back at home they wanted to have reception.How and why u can sqeeuz arms of bride side to throw a dinner?? I dont know what kind of people those are.
 
In my case we hosted a good engagement party from our side. So in marriage we did not arrange any dinner as groom side. There were some who commented that what kind of people we are that we did not throw a dinner. And situation was that forget asking we refused the insisting offer of bride side for 2-3 functions and clearly told them that we will have  only one dinner for reception cum marriage and that's it.Not going in to much details of things but my father paid back for a cooking range which my inlaws gave in marriage which they had to accept as he declared he will not eat food cooked on dowry gift. He did not accept any thing for himself and did not allow dowry item to be kept in his room ( even a photo frame).
 
Yes it was difficult for him to accpet anything from a in laws of son when  this man had  lived all his life with pride of not accpeting any thing from his father since school days (since 9th standard he gave tution and studied : B.com, LLB, ICWA,CAIIB, DBM, CS,Sanskrit Visharad, etc was lecturer in VJTI the then most renowned engineering college, was paper setter and examiner for exams of all india cost and works accountants). But in 2001 a road accident affected his memory and nature badly.
 
And  went to the extent of refusing to accept anything from his own father that every thing of my grandfather which should have gone to him fell in to my lap like a ripe mango ( share in grand pa's property).
While we boast we are landlord of a building in Mumbai he says I am tenant of one room in that building ( as he was before my grand pa bought from the then landlord Brigadier general Umrao singhji) and pays to me rent for his room regularly.
 
 Daddy blatantly refused to see his name being included in  his father's will or anywhere.He does not accept anything from us to even at the age of 88 years. Does not want to bother my staff and wants to do all his work by himeself ( except for last few months as he is not well).In last 30 years I have never gone to make payment for any bills, to do train reservations etc etc but he does not want to trouble my staff easily available to him and even his own staff and did all that by himself till last few months.
 
But sorry situation is others as I see want to waste power, fuel, food, take help of labourer even if not needed as they think they can afford and there are many who cant afford yet do every mean thing ( like dowery, fraud,over charging,bribe,gifts,manipulations,borrowing,sell spurious, adultarated etc etc..).to just show off. Worst are those youngones who earn not but yet waste as their parents can afford.
  
Hope we Indians too learn to use / spend only as much as we can with honest means and waste not want not , order not if we cant consume.
  
But high order is n't it?? As we all want to live in false pride and show off.
 
On Sun, Mar 20, 2011 at 9:15 AM, Deepak Barodia <barodiads@gmail.com> wrote:

Wasting food

 !!-----please read its my humble request

 


Germany is a highly industrialized country. It produces top brands like Benz, BMW, Siemens etc. The nuclear reactor pump is made in a small town in this country.
In such a country, many will think its people lead a luxurious life. At least that was my impression before my study trip.

When I arrived at Hamburg , my colleagues who work in Hamburg arranged a welcome party for me in a restaurant. As we walked into the restaurant, we noticed that a lot of tables were empty. There was a table where a young couple was having their meal. There were only two dishes and two cans of  beer on the table. I wondered if such simple meal could be romantic, and  whether the girl will leave this stingy guy.

There were a few old ladies on another table. When a dish is served, the waiter would distribute the food for them, and they would finish every bit of the food on their plates.

We did not pay much attention to them, as we were looking forward to the dishes we ordered. As we were hungry, our local colleague ordered more food for us.

As the restaurant was quiet, the food came quite fast. Since there were other activities arranged for us, we did not spend much time dining. When we left, there was still about one third of unconsumed food on the table.

When we were leaving the restaurant, we heard someone calling us. We noticed the old ladies in the restaurant were talking about us to the restaurant owner. When they spoke to us in English, we understood that they were unhappy about us wasting so much food. We immediately felt that  they were really being too busybody.

"We paid for our food, it is none of your business how much food we left behind," my colleague Gui told the old ladies.

The old ladies were furious. One of them immediately took her hand phone out and made a call to someone. After a while, a man in uniform from the Social Security organization arrived. Upon knowing  what the dispute was, he issued us a 50 Mark fine.

We all kept quiet. The local colleague took out a 50 Mark note and repeatedly apologized to the officer.

The officer told us in a stern voice, "ORDER WHAT YOU CAN CONSUME, MONEY IS YOURS BUT RESOURCES BELONG TO THE SOCIETY. THERE ARE MANY OTHERS IN THE WORLD WHO ARE FACING SHORTAGE OF RESOURCES. YOU HAVE  NO REASON TO WASTE RESOURCES.´"

Our face turned red. We all agreed with him in our hearts. The mindset of people of this rich country put all of us to shame. WE REALLY NEED TO REFLECT ON THIS. We are from  country which is not very rich in resources. To save face, we order large quantity and also waste food when we give others a treat. THIS LESSON TAUGHT US A LESSON TO THINK SERIOUSLY ABOUT CHANGING OUR BAD HABITS.

My colleague Photostatted the fine ticket and gave a copy to each of us as a souvenir. All of us kept it and pasted on our wall to remind us that we shall never be wasteful.

 

  regards

 


.



__._,_.___
 



--
Posted By Alok Tholiya to Jain Utsav at 3/20/2011 02:34:00 AM



--
Thanks and Regards,
Alok Tholiya (S.E.O.)
(Real Estate, Insurance, Mutual Funds, Bonds,
Tholiya Marketing and Leasing Pvt. Ltd.
Marigold Party Hall,
Tholiya Bhavan,Next to Regency Hotel,
10th Rd., Santacruz East,
Mumbai 400055
tholiya@hotmail.com
M:9324225699



• Pl. fwd./ circulate this mail if you think the issues raised here needs wider audience.



• Let us make our city beautiful, disciplined and Loveable.
Let us handover to our future generation a better place to live in.



www.digambarjains.com
The matrimonial web site for Digambar Jains



• Also subscribe to my very popular yahoogroup:
Send blank mail to:
menow-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Fw: is there a voilence against women next door .....bell bajao........


 

----- Forwarded Message ----
From: Manish Jain <manifunny@gmail.com>
To: Alok Tholiya <atholiya@gmail.com>
Sent: Thu, 10 March, 2011 8:37:28 PM
Subject: Re: is there a voilence against women next door .....bell bajao........

Very Nice Sir....


On Thu, Mar 10, 2011 at 8:22 PM, Alok Tholiya <atholiya@gmail.com> wrote:




--
Thanks and Regards,
Alok Tholiya
(Real Estate, Insurance, Mutual Funds, Bonds,
Tholiya Marketing and Leasing Pvt. Ltd.
Marigold Party Hall,
Tholiya Bhavan,Next to Regency Hotel,
10th Rd., Santacruz East,
Mumbai 400055
tholiya@yahoo.com
M:9324225699



• Pl. fwd./ circulate this mail if you think the issues raised here needs wider audience.



• Let us make our city beautiful, disciplined and Loveable.
Let us handover to our future generation a better place to live in.



www.digambarjains.com
The matrimonial web site for Digambar Jains



• Also subscribe to my very popular yahoogroup:
Send blank mail to:
menow-subscribe@yahoogroups.com


Wednesday, March 9, 2011

FW: PASS THE BISCUITS

 



Date: Wed, 9 Mar 2011 11:36:11 +0530
From: pavankjain2001@yahoo.co.in
Subject: Re: PASS THE BISCUITS
To: tholiya@hotmail.com

Dear Alok ji.
Good one, thanks.
I think most of the time problems arise because of looking for perfection and high expectations from others. Sometime it helps to accept the things as they are.
Regards,
Pavan

--- On Tue, 8/3/11, Alok Tholia <tholiya@hotmail.com> wrote:

From: Alok Tholia <tholiya@hotmail.com>
Subject: PASS THE BISCUITS
To: santacruzcivicforum@yahogroups.com, tholiya@yahoogroups.com, menow@yahoogroups.com, resortstimemeshare-india@yahoogroups.com, jainmatrimonials@yahoogroups.com
Date: Tuesday, 8 March, 2011, 4:16 AM






Subject: PASS THE BISCUITS

When I was a kid, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then.  And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work.  On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage, and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad.  I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed!  Yet all my dad did was reach for his Biscuit, smile at my mom and ask me how my day was at school.

I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits.  And I'll never forget what he said:  "Honey, I love burned biscuits."

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned.  He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Your momma put in a long hard day at work today and she's real tired.  And besides... a burnt biscuit never hurt anyone!"


You know, life is full of imperfect things... and imperfect people.  I'm not the best at hardly anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else.  What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each others faults and choosing to celebrate each others differences, is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.

So...please pass me a biscuit. And yes, the burned one will do just fine!  And please pass this along to someone who has enriched your life... I just did!


Life is too short to wake up with regrets... Love the people who treat you right and forget about the ones who don't.


ENJOY LIFE NOW - IT HAS AN EXPIRATION DATE!





Tuesday, March 8, 2011

FW: [menow] charity gets converted into blessings

 



To: menow@yahoogroups.com
From: aarti@bom4.vsnl.net.in
Date: Tue, 8 Mar 2011 03:20:22 +0000
Subject: Re: [menow] charity gets converted into blessings

 
Nice story and inspiring thanks

Aanand Agrawal
Aarti Cable and Compounds Pvt. Ltd
aanandkagrawal@gmail.com
mob-9322867451,9820029015
http://www.aarticable.com
"Member Of The World's No.1 Business Referral Organization"BNI - Business Network International
Member of AIPMA (All India Plastics Manufacturers Association)


From: Alok Tholia <tholiya@hotmail.com>
Sender: menow@yahoogroups.com
Date: Tue, 08 Mar 2011 08:25:47 +0530
To: <santacruzcivicforum@yahogroups.com>; <tholiya@yahoogroups.com>; <menow@yahoogroups.com>; <resortstimemeshare-india@yahoogroups.com>; <jainmatrimonials@yahoogroups.com>
ReplyTo: menow@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [menow] charity gets converted into blessings

 




AKBAR'S GOLD COINS
 
The wisdom of Birbal was unparalleled during the reign of Emperor Akbar. But Akbar's brother in law was extremely jealous of him. He asked the Emperor to dispense with Birbal's services and appoint him in his place. He gave ample assurance that he would prove to be more efficient and capable than Birbal. Before Akbar could take a decision on this matter, this news reached Birbal.
Birbal resigned and left. Akbar's brother in law was made the minister in place of Birbal. Akbar decided to test the new minister. He gave three hundred gold coins to him and said, "Spend these gold coins such that, I get a hundred gold coins here in this life; a hundred gold coins in the other world and another hundred gold coins neither here nor there."
The minister found the entire situation to be a maze of confusion and hopelessness. He spent sleepless nights worrying over how he would get himself out of this mess. Thinking in circles was making him go crazy. Eventually, on the advice of his wife he sought Birbal's help. Birbal said, "Just give me the gold cons. I shall handle the rest."
Birbal walked the streets of the city holding the bag of gold coins in his hand. He noticed a rich merchant celebrating his son's wedding. Birbal gave a hundred gold coins to him and bowed courteously saying, "The Emperor Akbar sends you his good wishes and blessings for the wedding of your son. Please accept the gift he has sent." The merchant felt honoured that the king had sent a special messenger with such a precious gift. He honoured Birbal and gave him a large number of expensive gifts and a bag of gold coins as a return gift for the king.
Next, Birbal went to the area of the city were the poor people lived. There he bought food and clothing in exchange for a hundred gold coins and distributed them in the name of the Emperor.
When he came back to town he organized a concert of music and dance. He spent a hundred gold coins on it.
The next day Birbal entered Akbar's darbar and announced that he had done all that the king had asked his brother-in-law to do. The Emperor waited to know how he had done it. Birbal repeated the sequences of all the events and then said, "The money I gave to the merchant for the wedding of his son – you have got back while on this earth. The money I spent on buying food and clothing for the poor – you will get it in the other world. The money I spent on the musical concert – you will get neither here nor there."
This is true even today.

The money you spend on friends is returned or reciprocated in some form or the other.

Money spent on charity gets converted into blessings from God which becomes your eternal property.

Money spent on pleasures is just frittered away!

So when you spend money, think a little, if not a lot! 







 
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Sunday, March 6, 2011

Fw: My humble request



 
----- Forwarded Message ----
From: "Response.Escalatedcomplaints@hdfcbank.com" <Response.Escalatedcomplaints@hdfcbank.com>
To: tholiya@yahoo.com
Sent: Sat, 5 March, 2011 1:16:52 PM
Subject: Fw: My humble request


Dear Mr. Tholiya,

This is in reference to your email dated 26th February 2011 addressed to our Corporate Office regarding your feedback on our Insta alert service .

At the outset we regret the inconvenience caused and would also like to thank you for your valuable feedback.

We will explore the feasibility of sending balance alerts at a later hour ,with our technical team, since it will involve a change in the current architecture of this service.

Once again we regret the inconvenience caused and thank you for banking with us.

Assuring you of our best services at all times.

Warm Regards,
Tejali M
Customer Service Manager (Chairman & MD Cell)
Regd. Office : HDFC Bank Ltd., HDFC Bank House, Senapati Bapat Marg, Lower Parel (W), Mumbai - 400 013.

Mr Alok Tholiya <tholiya@yahoo.com>

02/26/2011 06:22 PM

To
"Bank Chairman HDFC Mr. Puri" <aditya.puri@hdfcbank.com>, Bank HDFC Escalated Complaint <Response.Escalatedcomplaints@hdfcbank.com>, Bank Support HDFC <support@hdfcbank.com>
cc
Subject
My humble request





Dear Sir,
namaskar.
 
Yes HDFC is known for good and ethical practice and modernisation.
 
But ...but sms alerts at 6 am is little too much. Ofcourse debit / withdrawal sms ( thru card/ ATM ) can come any time but not the other routine sms.
 
Today I recd 6 sms at around 6 am for balance in account and limit on my acc.
 
Pl. ensuresuch sms come after 7.30 am

Thanks and Regards,
Alok Tholiya (S.E.O) M:9324225699



FW: [menow] How can you change another person?




 



To: menow@yahoogroups.com
From: thankamani52@hotmail.com
Date: Fri, 4 Mar 2011 11:50:22 +0530
Subject: RE: [menow] How can you change another person?

 
SIR, YOUR POINT IS VERY VALID IT IS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO CHANGE A PERSON THIS IS NOT LIKELY TO HAPPEN AS EVERYONE EXPECTS HIM OR HER TO CHANGE THE WAY THEY WANT SO I WOULD SUGGEST
1 IF YOU FEEL ANY PERSON  NEEDS TO CHANGE , FIRST CHECK UP WHETHER YOU NEED TO AND CAN CHANGE YOURSELF AT LEAST IN YOUR PERCEPTION, ATTITUDE AND APPROACH\
2 ACCEPT  OTHERS, AS THEY ARE AND BE CALM AND COOL AND UNDISTURBED AND CENTERED THIS ACCEPTANCE FIRST IS REQUIRED, PRACTICALLY , EVEN IF YOU WANT TO TRY OUT THE WAYS YOU ENUMERATED SAVE YOUR MIND FIRST
REGARDS AND THANKS
 

To: santacruzcivicforum@yahogroups.com; tholiya@yahoogroups.com; menow@yahoogroups.com; resortstimemeshare-india@yahoogroups.com; jainmatrimonials@yahoogroups.com
From: tholiya@hotmail.com
Date: Fri, 4 Mar 2011 04:01:00 +0530
Subject: [menow] How can you change another person?

 
 
 
 
 
 
 


http://emotionalcompetency.blogspot.com/2007/09/how-can-you-change-another-person.html
 
How can you change another person?
Q: How can you change another person?
A: You cannot
change another person, however there are things you can do to assist someone who has asked you to help them change. The techniques of motivational interviewing can help someone resolve their ambivalence, uncertainty, and indecision about change, set a new and clear direction, increase their commitment to change, help them plan the steps they need to take, and give them confidence to make the changes they have decided on. The book Motivational Interviewing, by William Miller and Stephen Rollnick describes the technique in detail.

If someone has decided to make a change in their life, they may invite or request your assistance. Certainly you can help them. Before acting to help another person change it is important to preserve their
autonomy, help them act consistently with their values, and overcome their inevitable urges to indulge impulses. Consider the example of a friend who asks you to help them stop smoking. Begin by agreeing on your role—what it is they want you to do and don't want you to do. Who announces their plan for quitting smoking? If you see them smoking, or smell smoke, or see cigarettes or ashes around their house, what do they want you do? If they beg you to "let them have just one cigarette today and that will be all for the week" how should you respond? Understand and do what they actually want, not what you think they want or what you want for them. You can always encourage them to change for the better, but avoid nagging, coercing, patronizing, indulging, enabling, extorting, or coercing them.

Keep in mind that pleasing someone may not be helping them. You can please someone by assisting them in satisfying an impulse. But you may be indulging them rather than helping them. To help someone you have to assist them in acting consistently with their
values. That may be much more difficult. This is the distinction between short-term pleasure and long-term gratification. Understand this distinction, and how the person you are offering to help wants you to do handle this inevitable conflict.

You can provide incentives to help someone make a positive change in their lives. For example, parents may offer money to a student for getting good grades. But in planning this approach it is important to understand the distinction between intrinsic and extrinsic
motivations. Use the money briefly only to focus on a goal of helping the student discover effective study habits and the intrinsic joys of learning, discovering, and achieving. These can provide life-long benefits. If instead the transaction degenerates into the narrow deal "no money, no work" then when the money stops, the studying stops, and the student has learned only greed, instrumental behavior, and dependency. The play stops when the pay stops.

Influence causes change. People are remarkably susceptible to
influence. We buy the latest fashions, prefer Pepsi over Coke, listen to the music that is most cleverly promoted, submit to many forms of peer pressure, and go along with the crowd, even if that requires becoming the rebel. Influence—achieving belief—is a powerful approach to changing what people believe, think, and do. It is effective, nearly invisible, and ubiquitous. Some influences, for example choosing an excellent role model, are constructive. Many influences, such as the ones that cause you to start smoking because you think it will make you cool, are destructive. Pay attention to the influences in your life, and make decisions based on your own well thought-out core values, not on today's fads.

You can describe how you would like the person to change, why you believe it would be beneficial, and ask them to change. Engage them in a
dialogue about the benefits of the change. Perhaps they will agree with your thinking and grant your request.

How you treat another person certainly affects how they behave, and how they treat you. When you treat someone
respectfully as an intelligent peer, they are likely to respond similarly to you. If you treat them disrespectfully, they are likely to retaliate in some way. Both parties participate in each relationship. Perhaps the best way to get someone to change is to change how you treat them.

Coercion changes immediate behavior but often at the cost of long term resentment and anxiety. It causes people to act out of
fear, or to select from a smaller set of alternatives. Coercive threats, ranging from "share your candy with me or I won't be your best friend" to "Give me your money or I'll shoot" are fast acting and long lasting. But they still depend on the free will of the victim. Gandhi said "You can chain me, you can torture me, you can even destroy this body, but you will never imprison my mind." People resent coercion, the vindictive passions run strong, they rarely ever forget, and they are passionate about revenge and retaliation. Coercion relies on fear and unleashes anger, hatred, and the destructive cycle of revenge. It is a short sighted expediency with long-term costs.

Because you cannot change another person, you may decide that the best way to move forward with your life is to disengage from theirs. If they don't understand their freedom ends where yours begins then it may be best to keep them at a distance. They have no right to
trespass on your privacy, time, space, or attention. The intent in disengaging is to protect yourself so you can move forward with your life. It is not to punish them, teach them a lesson, or to ensure they get what they deserve. It may be helpful to discuss with them your reasons for the separation.

It is always helpful to keep in mind what you can
change and what you cannot. It helps to attain the wisdom to know the difference. Certainly you cannot change the past, human nature, personality, or the laws of mathematics and physics. You can only change another person if they truly want to change and have requested your help in making the change.

 




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